GUEST POST: Sorry Canada

Today I have the absolute pleasure of hosting a dear internet friend.
Knox McCoy found his way over to these parts awhile ago and asked if we could be friends because I wrote a post about beards. For some reason that I still have yet to figure out, Knoxy took interest in my writing. He helps promote my stuff and encourages me with new things I’m thinking of doing. He edits my work. He gives feedback. He’s like the big brother of the internet, and one of the reasons more than 10 people read this thing. Remember the exceptionally cute kid in the Birthday video that suggested Joseph become a pirate? That’s Knox’s son.

I guess you could say I kind of owe Knox. Yet he is here writing me a guest post. What a guy.

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I’ve started a new website called The My Bad Project. It is a site that apologizes for things that we have messed up or are really embarrassed about. These are things we’ve done, to which the response can only be, “Yeah, that was my bad.” It’s not a place that fixes all of the wrong doings, but it’s a place for people to come clean.

In the spirit of the new site, I would like to apologize for something I said in the past. In 2010, I did something I regret. I wrote a blog post about Canada. Two years ago, Canada pissed me off so I wrote about it. I complained, I was belligerent and I encouraged a fight in the comments section. I knocked Canada because of my experience with two bad drivers. I hated an entire country based on TWO individuals. And what do I have to say about it?

Yeah, that was my bad.

In the past two years, things have changed. I LOVE Canada now, you guys. I love bacon, beavers, Biebers, bacon and poutine. AND BACON. I don’t even KNOW what poutine is, but it involves gravy somehow, and gravy is like liquid manna, therefore I love it. And Canada. I love the Queen. I think monarchies are the way to go, even though I can’t figure it out beyond her head being on some coins. I love that there aren’t going to be anymore pennies in Canada. That’s efficiency, folks. I love that there are animals instead of people on their coins, too. It shows they care. THEY CARE ABOUT ANIMALS, TOO.

I am thrilled that Canada is beginning their very own season of the Bachelor. Canada needs love too, guys. I am excited to recap the Canadian Bachelor even if it means watching it on the internet a day later. I am THAT committed to the love lives of my neighbors from the north. I desperately hope that there are dogsleds and Mounties involved. Why? BECAUSE THAT’S CANADIAN, and man, I LOVE CANADA.

I love Canada so much that I’m thinking about adding an extra ‘u’ in a few of my favourite words. SEE WHAT I JUST DID? I think it makes certain words look more distinguished. Why not colour instead of color? An extra ‘u’ adds class. Canada is classy. Did I mention the bacon? Canada is good at bacon. The goodness of Canada’s bacon is directly proportional to the….I don’t know. BACON. BACON, YOU GUYS.

And do I even have to mention Alan Thicke? No. Probably not.

I could keep raving about Canada, and all of the wonderful people I know there, but instead I will close with an apology and an announcement.

Canada, you used to piss me off. I’ve gotten to know you over the past two years and I changed my mind. You don’t piss me off anymore. You inspire me. I long to model my behaviour (and spelling) after your great example. I made fun of you. That was my bad. I would like to make it up to you, in the only way I know how:

I’m moving to Canada.

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Thanks, Knox. I really appreciate this. It warms my Canadian heart.

Make sure you read Knox’s blog, follow him on Twitter and check out other projects he’s involved in:

TV Asylum (A place for the TV obsessed)
The My Bad Project (Sometimes apologizing is better than evangelizing)