Friday Field Notes: VBS

We had the privilege of helping out with VBS at my church this past week. Over 200 kids showed up, and it was a ridiculous, fun nut house. So exhausting, but very worth it. Joseph and I both had groups of Kindergarten kids that we were in charge of. It was…interesting, to say the very least. These are some pretty incredible kids!

—

Mom Friend was telling a story about the Roman soldier who had a sick servant. She was giving them instructions that they had to follow like soldiers would (attention, halt, about face, march). The kids took turns giving the instructions.

Z: March! Halt! Abouty face!

—

Me: What do you know about God?
D: Ants!

—

Everyone: You can trust God!
D: NO YOU CAN’T (our good nature was running out by this point in the day!)

—

Me: Why aren’t you running and screaming?
D: My mom said I can’t scream.
Me: Oh, she probably means inside. But you’re at VBS and outside, and you’re allowed to scream here!
D: Oh! (takes off running and screaming)

—

Z (stroking Joseph’s beard): You need to shave!

—

Leader: We’re going to play another fun game!
Joseph’s kids: NOOOOOOO!

—

N to Joseph: Can you hold this bottle cap I found?
J: Suuuure (putting the Bud Light bottle cap in his pocket)

—

Me: Why aren’t you running?
D: I don’t know those guys!

—

E, midweek: Can I have a nap?

—

Z: I don’t like port-a-potties.

—

After the story station:

C (who is never quiet) to Joseph: Was I quiet?

—

Our groups were sitting near each other and drinking chocolate milk (Joseph’s group):
Joseph: I’m allergic to milk, too.
N: Yeah, I’m allergic to dairy.
Joseph: But that’s what milk is.
N: Oh.
C: I’m allergic to only white milk.
D (eating marshmallows in my group): I’m allergic to marshmallows.

—

There’s a horse on my street.

—

Teacher: So after they arrested Jesus, who did they take him to see?
Kid: THE BOSS.

—

Teacher, holding up a crown of thorns: What did they do with this?
(Silence)
Kid: THEY PUT IT ON HIS HEAD. (please reread using the Will Ferrell SNL voice immodulation skit voice)

—

One of Joseph’s little ones collided with another and suffered some minor injuries that were remedied with a freezie. Another boy had some things to say.

C: Can I have a freezie?
Joseph: No, you’d have to ask your mom or dad when they come pick you up.
C: Oh, on the way here, my mom said I could have one.
J: No, I mean, when you’re at home you have to ask for one at home.
C: No, my mom said I could have one at the church.

—

Z, taking Joseph’s nametag: I want to take this. I’m Joseph now.

—

D (singing on the way down the stairs): You can trust God, defindindeeeeee!

—