Friday Field Notes: Subtraction

Every week I teach approximately 160 kids. They say some ridiculous things. I write them down as accurately and timely as possible, on tiny scraps of paper, then on Fridays I compile the best lines into these weekly Friday Field Notes.

Enjoy. I certainly do.

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Grade 1 or 2

Whenever I wear my glasses, the kids have to spend the first 5 minutes of music class talking about them. Due to a horrendous bout of pink eye, I had been wearing my glasses for a few weeks. When I switched back to contacts, the kids felt the need to discuss it.

E: Why aren’t you wearing glasses?
Me: I have contacts in.
O: Contexts?Me: ConTACTS.
E: Do you like to text?
All of the kids: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

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E (loud whisper): O said the S – E – X!
All of the kids: GASP!

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M: This is a joke. I went to the doctor and said can I have a replaced butt please mine has a crack.
All of the kids: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

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Turned on the CD player, and the radio is blasting.

Me: Wow! Miss H must listen to the radio when you guys aren’t here.
B: YEAH NO SHE DOES NOT.
Me: Maybe she does when you’re not here.
B: Maybe her BFF comes and they dance.
Me: Maybe.
C: Her DSS?
B: NO. Her BFF. BEST FRIEND FRIEND.

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Me: Does anyone have any questions about the song?
M: I lost a tooth.
J: One time I saw someone at Fair Havens (?) with ONE tooth.

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Me: I’m going to put on a song that uses the electric guitar.
B: OHHHHHH it’s going to get PUMPED UP!!!!!

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Grade 1/2
The kids in my afternoon class are big into walking up to me, telling me something, and abruptly walking away. All of the following were delivered in this manner.

C (whispering): You’re a 3D shape.

J: Even though there are people named J, we are all different people. Except for twins.

C: Sometimes when Kung Fu kids get their candy stolen, they fight back.
J: I don’t like coconut.

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During a quiet work period, one of the kids was talking.

M: SHHHH. You’re making me lose my subtraction!

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Overheard during music class.

Y (LOUD, and many many times): There’s a cross on our drum. Jesus must have died on ours.

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Me: So what did you guys do at the winter carnival?
They all shared what they did, some shared that they lost the games.
J: It doesn’t even matter if you lost all of the activities like me because I was having fun, even. It was important just that I had fun.
Me: I really appreciate J’s positive attitude. I think J could have fun no matter what he did. He always has a smile on his face.
D: Even with homework?
Me: J, do you think homework is fun?
J: (nods) well I don’t even care too much because that’s just what you have to do and things you have to do are fun. And that’s the important stuff. So I just do things like that and stuff because the fun part is having fun.

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The fun part is having fun. Right?