Every week I teach 161 different kids. They say some ridiculous things. I write them down as accurately and timely as possible, then compile the best lines into these weekly Friday Field Notes.
Enjoy. I certainly do.
—
Me (during a drama lesson): Pretend we’re in a magical forest! Look all around you. What do you see?
A: Trees!
T: Elves!
C: Mushrooms!
F: Fairies!
G: A mermaid!
Me: Pardon?
G: (cries)
—
Me: What number should we write on our whiteboards next?
J: Sixty fifteen hundred million fifty hundred!
—
C: Tally marks! I know what those are. They’re what the Italians use!
—
M: (farts loudly during a math lesson)
C: Who farted?
M: Well. You just have to fart sometimes.
(murmurs of agreement from the rest of the group)
(silence)
C: Yeah! Even I do.
(more murmurs of agreement)
C (quietly): Whoever smelled it did it.
(They all start visibly sniffing)
I had to hide my face behind a mini whiteboard during this exchange. Once they started sniffing, I had to get up in the middle of my lesson and go to the back of the room because I was laughing so hard.
—
On the playground
“It smells like bacon!”
(it didn’t)
—
J: Miss Bask! I recognized you by your face!
—
M: If you talk about it, I’ll be too careful.
Teacher: Oh! You can never be too careful!
M: YES. (cries)
—
Kindergarten:
A: Do you have a husband?
Me: No.
A: Why not?
Me: Well…
M: But she HAS a job!
Me: So if I have a job I don’t need a husband?
M: Right.
A: NO!
M: Well some people don’t even GET married.
T: My dad has a job AND a husband!
Me: Oh? Who is your dad’s husband?
T: My mom!
—
Teacher quote of the week:
“Grade 7 and 8s are just like Kindergarteners. They smell funny, they don’t wash their hands enough and they do stupid things. You can handle them, Amanda. No problem.”
7 Comments
Sounds like a good week. Love it!!
Must MUST meet those kids – I’m coming by for a visit.
“T: My dad has a job AND a husband!
Me: Oh? Who is your dad’s husband?
T: My mom!”
Best exchange ever.
I’m confused. Is the “M” who farted loudly “Mandie”?
Don’t they teach you at Teacher College not to do that in class? Very wrong.
The magical forest has a river that runs to the sea. Naturally the mermaids swim up the river to trade seashells to the elves for elven waybread, which is considered an exotic delicacy in the mermaid court.
Super excited to see these back!
They’ve got to learn the rules of assigning fart blame somewhere, why not at school?