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Amanda Bast
Kid Stuff 22

Friday Field Notes: I Like Big Butts

By Amanda @AmandaMBast · On November 4, 2011


Every week I encounter anywhere between 20 and 100+ kids. They say some ridiculous things. I write them down as accurately and timely as possible, then compile the best lines into these weekly Friday Field Notes.

Enjoy. I certainly do.

—

My Tuesday (post-Halloween) was the worst. I didn’t write anything down from that day because I don’t want to remember any of it.

—

Kindergarten

Little girl describing a picture she drew: These are dinosaurs swimming under water. That is a girl standing there. Actually she drowned. Those are scissors. She dropped them.

—

Boy describing something he built: This is a chocolate factory with animals buying chocolate. This is where the workers sleep.

—

Me (reading a Robert Munsch book): What is university?
C: Umm uhhh umm……..(whispering) outer space.
Me (hiding behind book, giggling)
K: It’s where you go and get a job to do.
Me: Sort of.
D: It’s like a school for big people. Like 12 or 13 year olds.

—

R (showing me a spider book): We didn’t even barf from that!

—

Me: B, what do you want to be when you grow up.
B: Four. I have four on my packback.
Me: But what do you want to be when you grow up?
B: Six.

—

Me: Can you tell me the name of a vegetable?
B: Jello.

—

Me: Can you tell me some healthy things to eat?
C: Bacon.
Me: Bacon is delicious, but it’s not healthy for you.
C: GASP (I’m telling you, there was an audible gasp and his mouth hung wiiiiide open).
Me: I know buddy. I’m sorry I had to break it to you.

—

D: Oatmeals is a good to eat at beckwrist.

—

Me: NO ONE in this class is a runaway pancake!

—

R: Can you write that the cracker people are evil?

—

Grade 5

G: We have a supply.
T: A supply? Hope they’re not weird looking.

—

Grade 2

R: My dog can listen to French.

—

J: I am awesome because I like hot dogs.

—

M: He called me a cheesy deesy bean pants!

—

F: I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE.
Me: Oh honey, not an appropriate song to sing at school.
F: But….but….
Me: Not at school, lovey.
F: Can I like them at home?
Me: Sure.

—

P: I had some steam right in front of me but now it’s GONE.

—

***LATE ADDITION***

I remembered something funny from Tuesday, the worst day ever.

Two random boys come up to me in the hall at the end of the day.
1: Are you a supply teacher?
Me: Yes.
1: Are you nice?
Me: Well yes, I’d like to think I am.
2: Good. You seem nice. We had a supply today who was NOT nice.
1: She was crying and yelling at us. I wish we had you instead.
2: Yeah she cried. Your class was lucky.

It was a bad day, but AT LEAST I DIDN’T CRY.

—

Have a good weekend, you Cheesy Deesy Bean Pantses.

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Amanda

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22 Comments

  • Burrill Strong (@sgtwolverine) says: November 4, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    I lost it at “Can I like them at home?”

    Did you actually keep a straight face during that exchange?

    Reply
    • Mandie Marie says: November 4, 2011 at 5:29 pm

      Yes. It was Friday afternoon and they all kept singing it. It needed to stop. I’m a meaniepants.

      Beckwrist? Not at all. I got him to repeat the word throughout the day just to make me giggle. The outer space had me shaking with laughter. But trying not to. Because I felt bad. Bacon made me laugh out loud. Couldn’t hide that one.

      Reply
  • Tyler F says: November 4, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Cracker people ARE evil.

    Reply
  • Some Guy says: November 4, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    So what did you write about the cracker people?

    Reply
    • Mandie Marie says: November 6, 2011 at 2:35 pm

      I just wrote “crackers”. If I had known the teacher I was filling in for, she would have gotten a story about cracker people.

      Reply
  • The Joseph Craven says: November 4, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    Oh. My. Gosh. That bacon comment. You might have ruined that kid’s dreams.

    Amazing. I’m glad to see that J doesn’t suffer from any confidence issues.

    Reply
    • Mandie Marie says: November 4, 2011 at 6:04 pm

      Sounds like another J I know.

      Reply
      • The Joseph Craven says: November 5, 2011 at 1:32 am

        Justin Bieber?

        Reply
        • Mandie Marie says: November 6, 2011 at 2:35 pm

          I dislike you.

          Reply
  • Shannon says: November 4, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    the day after halloween is by default always horrible. Only those who work with kids knows just how bad lack of sleep mixed with sugar highs can be.

    Reply
  • Chris says: November 4, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    F sounds like a kindred spirit.

    But I’m still puzzling over the runaway pancake comment.

    Another great collection, thanks!

    Reply
    • Mandie Marie says: November 4, 2011 at 10:39 pm

      Sometimes you just can’t think too hard.

      The kids were calling each other runaway pancakes and all getting VERY upset. Close to tears upset. I had to make an announcement.

      Reply
  • snickeringcorpses says: November 4, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    Oddly enough, I’ve just recently been reminded that one of the American Founding Fathers, whose name escapes me at this moment, passed the entrance exam for Harvard at age 7, but his parents didn’t let him attend till age 13, so he could enter with his peers. So D isn’t wrong, just born a few centuries late. 🙂

    I also join Some Guy in wanting to know what you wrote about the cracker people.

    I’m going to go ask my mom if we can get a dog that listens to French, now.

    Reply
    • Mandie Marie says: November 4, 2011 at 10:38 pm

      I wrote nothing about the cracker people. I should have, but the assignment was to draw a healthy food and label it. He drew cracker people. If I had known the teacher I was filling in for, I would have written about cracker people. But…I didn’t. Sorry buddy.

      Reply
  • G Fresh says: November 4, 2011 at 11:59 pm

    My cats can ignore me not only in French, but also English, Spanish, German…pretty much every language really…

    …Cats are jerks.

    …So is Joseph Craven. #preemptivestrike

    Reply
    • The Joseph Craven says: November 5, 2011 at 1:33 am

      ….I didn’t deserve that. But I accept it.

      Reply
      • G Fresh says: November 5, 2011 at 3:56 pm

        You didn’t deserve it now, but you will someday. This saves me the trouble of calling you names in the future. #Lazy

        Reply
  • Ricky Anderson says: November 6, 2011 at 8:56 am

    Funny stuff, as always!

    Now I want to know what happened on Tuesday.

    Reply
    • Mandie Marie says: November 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

      No. You really don’t.

      Reply
  • Larry Hehn says: November 6, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    My name is Larry, and I am a runaway pancake.

    Reply
    • Mandie Marie says: November 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

      Yeah. You are.

      Reply
  • Bacon Is The New Black | Laura McClellan says: September 6, 2012 at 11:19 am

    […] Friday Field Notes #1 […]

    Reply
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