It was HOT this week. I spent a lot of time in unairconditioned buildings, which may or may not explain the weirdness of the stuff kids said.
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“Your teeth are see through.”
“FIVE. FOUR. EGGS. ROUND. FOUR. Your earrings look like eggs.”
“Blee. NO. AH. You’re my teacher. FIVE.”
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This kid has a mullet.
“If this class holds true to it’s reputation, kids will be duct taped to the wall by the end of the day.”
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“Mamma Mia, Miss B! You’re the greatest teacher ever! And I’m Luigi!” (reread in the proper accent please)
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Adult: “What makes you happy?”
Kid: “School and my momma.”
Adult: “Why do they make you happy?”
Kid: “School because I have friends and my momma because she bakes me shrimp that I love.”
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“Do you know what is stronger than teeth? A skateboard.”
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“Can you eat nails? Or screws?”
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6 yr old Boy: “You look really beautiful now, Miss B.”
Me: “Now? You mean I didn’t before?”
Boy: “No.”
Me: “Oh?”
Boy: “This is good [pointing to my bangs]. I like this. When did you do that? I don’t remember you doing that before. Did you do it with that thing you plug in that gets hot?”
Me: “A straightener? Yes.”
Boy: “Good. It’s good. Can you wear your hair down? Now?”
Me: “No. It’s too hot out to wear my hair down.”
Boy: “But it’s so beautiful when it’s down. Please?”
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Boy: “Miss B, J stuck his tongue out at me!”
J: “I AM A LIZARD!”
Me: Sigh.
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A dance party broke out in one of my Kindie classes this week. It happened somewhat spontaneously, and they automatically formed a giant circle and took turns showing off their moves in the middle of it. One of the many reasons I love inner-city schools. I was astounded by their moves. As were the kids. After one dude spun like a top another exclaimed,
“WHOA! That was SICK!”
Indeed it was. Three of them fell asleep during story time that afternoon. Also sick
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“Big problems are bullying, burning hair and bleeding. And broken bones.”
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This week’s favourite. It was a really tough day.
Kid: “Look, I made a magic wand!”
Me: “Wonderful! What are you going to do with it?”
Kid: “Good!”
Do good with your magic wands this week, internets :o)
15 Comments
“I AM A LIZARD!” is begging to be made into a t-shirt. Imagine the strange looks you could get wearing that shirt…
This is a good idea. I like the way you think. I should learn how to screen print and start a business. My best seller will say, “You smell like Walmart.”
This was great! I’m glad you stopped by my blog. Do you read Tyler Tarver’s blog. He’ a funny teacher as well.
Yes, I most certainly do read Tarver’s blog. Hilarious. Don’t think he reads mine, though. Thanks for coming by my little blog home. Much appreciated!
awesome. i love how students have such a way with words and how to comprise them into sentences that give us a clear understanding of how much we need to prepare to stay alive forever.
I want to hire that last kid.
Oh hi Tyler Tarver. Welcome. The last kid has an indian accent plus a lisp. Win-win. He’s the cutest.
Love it! 🙂
The one with all the b words reminded me of a response in case a student interrupts me during a teaching time. (It’s the 4 b’s.)
“Are you bleeding?? Can you breathe?? Is the building burning?? Are you going to barf??” Usually the kid says no and then they can sit down. 🙂
I’m using this! Brilliant!
I love this Amanda! Please keep sharing, it makes me feel warm inside!!
I will keep sharing, if only for you, Mrs. SlevSKINski.
Holy moly, your kids are weird. I’m not sure if it was the heat or the age or your country, but that is some weird crap spewing from their lips. I’m a little jealous but today’s sermon was about coveting so I’m trying not to be.
I bet if you started writing down the stuff your kids say and posting it out of context it would be just as bizarre. For reals. My kids aren’t funnier, I just pick out the weird stuff and write it down. Mind you, the first kid is really weird. Really really weird.
I teach middle school, so I know all about the weird things kids say. (Though I’m on summer vacation now, so I kinda miss the little weirdos, 🙂
Love your blog! So glad to have stumbled upon it!
welcome to my weird little piece of the internets. I am certainly going to miss all my little weirdos too!
Is it bad that my second thought after reading the “I am a Lizard” kid was the Taco Bell commercial?
Taco Bell Dog (with classic “cardboard box propped by a stick” trap): Here, Leezard, Leezard, Leezard!
*Godzilla rounds the corner*
Taco Bell Dog: “I think I need a beeger box.”