Every week as a substitute teacher, I come in contact with 100+ different kids. I know some of them well. Others I am meeting for the first time. They say some ridiculous things, so I write them down as accurately and timely as possible, then compile the best lines into these weekly Friday Field Notes. All of the identifying factors of the kids have been removed. Only hilarity remains.
Enjoy. I certainly do.
Overheard during French class:
Teacher: So I want you to make a poster, and draw your picture and write your title.
1: Do we have to write the words in French?
Teacher: What class are you in?
Teacher: What do you think?
Teacher: Sigh. Yes. You do.
2: So, do we have to draw in French, too?
Teacher: (looks at me) Uhhh…..
Kid: Wait, you were a SPY teacher?
Me: Supply, darling.
1: “He’s putting the cube in my eye!”
2: “NO I’M NOT! It won’t fit.”
Me: Does anyone have any questions? Yes, P?
P: My Dad is bringing in a big dog.
H: My daddy says peeyew when I have a toot.
E: I found chicken skin inside my pumpkin once!
Written on a worksheet about cause and effect:
Cause: Someone called her buttface.
Effect: She cried.
Cause: Picked a scab.
Cause: There was a flood.
Effect: Free swimming!