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Amanda Bast
Kid Stuff 6

Friday Field Notes: Brunch

By Amanda @AmandaMBast · On November 23, 2012


Every week I teach 161 different kids. They say some ridiculous things. I write them down as accurately and timely as possible, then compile the best lines into these weekly Friday Field Notes.

Enjoy. I certainly do.

—

Kindergarten:

(Runs to me and hugs me tight): I want to keep you forever!

—

E: I got married on a wedding Saturday.
Me: Oh really? Do you mean you went to a wedding?
E: Yeah. My mom had a wedding.
Me: Your mom got married? Really?
E: With a juicebox.

—

Grade 1/2/3

C: My parents builded me. They lived in Toronto maaaaany many years ago. That’s where they builded me.

—

Discussing our Christmas concert, and whether or not we celebrate Christmas, and what it means to celebrate Christmas (some fascinating things come up in the public school system.)

Me: What is a manger?
B: Where (mumble mumble).
Me: Pardon?
B: Where they keep dead people.
Me: Um. No.

—

K: My dad used to live down the street from the Jesus place.

—

E: SOMETIMES people celebrate Christmas with brunch!

—

Me: Do you celebrate Christmas?
A: No. But if it was on a Sunday, we’d go to church.
Me: Well, what would you learn at church?
A: That Jesus was born on Christmas.
Me: So then you celebrate Christmas.
A: Only if it’s on a Sunday.

—

Me: Do you celebrate Christmas?
J: No, but we get presents.
Me: When?
J: On Christmas.

—

A: Jesus wasn’t actually born on Christmas day.
M: WHAAAAT? NO! YOU’RE WRONG!
A: It wasn’t actually on the day with snow and a Christmas tree.
M: BUT THE BIBLE SAYS SO! JESUS WAS BORN WITH SNOW.
(this grade 2 discussion got RATHER heated)

—

Grade 4/5

One of the “cool” guys in the class who rarely smiles, shows up to school on Halloween dressed head to toe in a pink and purple clown costume.
Me (deadpan, no smiling): Nice.
Him (deadpan, no smiling): Thanks.

It was one of my top Halloween moments of all time.

—

E: What’s with your HAIR?
Me: Oh thanks, E! You look great today too!
E (brightening): Oh hey thanks, Miss B!

—

Grade 1/2

Me (during an oral assessment of mapping skills during social studies): So what IS Canada? (correct response: a country)
A: A land of joy and chocolate!

—

During math: A turtle peed on my arm!

—

L: Miss…..B……I’m done.
Me: Looks great, L. Go have a seat at your desk.
(2 minutes later)
L: Miss….B….I’m done.
Me: Yup, I’ve already told you it looks good. Go have a seat at your desk.
(2 minutes later)
L: Miss….B……
Me: Yup, have a seat.
(2 minutes later)
L: Miss…
Me: Oh. My.
(2 minutes later)
L: Miss….B…..
Me: SERIOUSLY?!
(2 minutes later)
L: Miss….B…..
Me: Oh! Are you done? I had no idea!
L: But….(looking really confused as he walks back to his desk)

I totally won that one.

—

I: I’m working SO hard, I’m getting math sweats!

—

Oh, and two weeks ago, I threw up in the middle of a parent-teacher interview. When I came back from the washroom, the mom wanted a picture with me and her child before they went on a trip. So there’s a really really awful post-vomit picture of me circulating somewhere in India. Teaching is grand.

Have a delightful weekend.

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Amanda

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6 Comments

  • auntymelly007 says: November 23, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    Canada really is a land of joy and chocolate. The kiddos got it right!

    Reply
  • Burrill Strong (@sgtwolverine) says: November 24, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    “A land of joy and chocolate” should be the next tourism marketing slogan for Canada. Because now I want to visit that great land up north (unless you’re in Detroit, in which case it’s south) to get a taste of the joy and chocolate. Mostly the chocolate, but some joy, too.

    Reply
  • Shannon says: November 25, 2012 at 10:54 am

    I get math sweats too, math is hard….

    Reply
  • aeysh says: November 26, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    It seems to me that there have been multiple arms in this school peed on by turtles. In math.

    I have a submission. I was in a kindergarten class the other day and during their free time two of the girls got into a joking argument over what one of them said earlier, during class.

    A: You said whipped cream!
    B: I said cake!
    A: I’m going to have to return the whipped cream?
    B: I said CAKE!
    A: WHIPPED CREAM!
    B: You have whipped cream on your eyeball!
    A: You said purple cream.
    B: I said BLUE cream.

    Reply
  • Daniel Lowry says: November 29, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    “A land of joy and chocolate!” <— Made me guffaw.

    And I DO hope that if I ever get married, there are juice boxes involved.

    Reply
  • Stephen Uchacz (@SMUchacz) says: December 2, 2012 at 1:44 am

    So funny, at my school in Cambridge, I overheard a conversation go like this:

    (Grade 2)
    Student 1: You are too chatty!
    Student 2: It is because of my speech delay
    Student 1: I don’t even know what that means, what do you think I am Japanese?

    Reply
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