Friday Field Notes: Arthritis

Every week I encounter anywhere between 20 and 100+ kids. They say some ridiculous things. I write them down as accurately and timely as possible, then compile the best lines into these weekly Friday Field Notes.

Enjoy. I certainly do.

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Grade 3

O: N was sticking out his tongue and calling it a hot dog!

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K: I’m sensitive. I’m just so sensitive.

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K: My mom is red and juicy like an apple

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Grade 1

M: D said that when I was in my mom’s tummy I was a worm, but I wasn’t.

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Y (previously described as a real life anime character) had two sticky notes on his desk. I look over during announcements, and he has them stuck to his bangs over his eyes. They swing when he moves his hair.

Y: I can’t see! I can’t see!
The rest of the kids are laughing.
Me: Y, please stop. It’s not funny. (It was totally funny)

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Me: What is that movie about?
H: (long, LONG explanation that doesn’t make sense) …and then Ricky’s girlfriend.
Me: RICKY!?!
H: Yeah. His other girlfriend….
Me: Ricky has more than one girlfriend?
H: Just two.

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Y: Miss Bast. Miss Base? MRS. FIRST BASE? (Proceeds to mime hitting a ball with a bat and running the bases)

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A written conversation that took place in his journal.
Y: I had my birthday party at the YMCA.
Me: What did you do at the YMCA?
Y: Played.
Me: What did you play?
Y: In the gym.
Me: What did you play in the gym?
Y: Games.
Me: What games?
Y: I forget.

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Grade 1 (Mennonites…important for context!)

Me: Why is it important to take care of our earth.
H: To give it clean.

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Me: Do you compost?
Them: Nooooo.
Me: So what would you do with carrot peelings or apple cores?
Them: Throw it in the manure pile.
Me: So you do compost. Your compost pile is just huge.

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Me: What things can’t you compost?
Them: Dairy products.
Me: Right! And something else…
H: Myself!
Me: Well, yes.
A: Cows!
Me: Ok, what if you ate chicken for dinner and there was some left. What would you do with it?
V: Put it in the fridge and eat it for breakfast.
Me: What if it wasn’t good to eat anymore?
D: Feed it to the dog.
Me: What if you didn’t have a dog?
E: Throw it in the manure pile.
Me: NO. You’re not supposed to compost meat. No dairy. No meat.
V: But when the hens die we put them in the manure pile!
Me: ….

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H: (big sigh) My glasses are tired!

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Grade 4

T: Have you seen the Hunger Games?
Me: Yes!
T: So what team are you?
Me: Excuse me?
T: Gale or Peeta?
Me: Based on just the movie? Gale. DEFINITELY Gale.
Girls: AWWW NOOO. Peeta! We love Peeta!
S (he grins): My mom’s team Gale.
Me: And why is your mom team Gale?
S: She says he’s cute!

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Lunch Duty

Girl: Don’t crack your fingers! It will give you arthritis!
Boy: Arthritis?
Girl: Yeah, your fingers will like start to hurt.
Boy: Oh. I thought arthritis was when authors write too much.

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Have a lovely weekend!
Team GALE!